In exactly one week, Sophie would be turning 4 years old. I find myself getting more and more emotional and anxious as this date approaches. September was National Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month and that was hard enough to handle the barrage of daily reminders through social media, emails, and snail mails that there are SO MANY children and families struggling through the heartache of cancer and it’s painful treatment. And so MANY who no longer are fighting the disease because their babies are gone. It’s all so heavy and makes me miss Sophie so much. But worse of all, these stats and photos and awareness campaigns make me focus on how horrendous 2013 was for us and what trauma and sadness Sophie had to endure for a third of her life. I don’t want to remember the worst parts. I want to remember who Sophie was during the brief moments she was happy last year. And remember her joyful, playful, sweet personality before cancer stole her. And that can pretty much be wrapped up and represented in a cupcake.Sophie has always loved cupcakes. Except she called them “cup-bakes”. It was mostly the candles that made them so appealing to her. So in recognition of Sophie’s 4th birthday, I think that it would help us emotionally if we celebrated what she loved (trains would be a bit too painful for me- a cupcake is more light-hearted with less heavy meaning that could be read into it).
If our friends and family would like to celebrate Sophie too and remember her in a way that doesn’t make our hearts hurt so much, please get yourself a cupcake this weekend. And put a candle on it if you want! We would love to see pictures of you with your “cupbake” if you could email it or post it on Facebook on Sophie’s birthday. It would bring us smiles on a day that will otherwise be quite hard for us.